When hiring a coach, I think it’s important to learn whether the coach wants to do a makeover on you. That’s not my philosophy. The idea is that you be who you are, not that you take on some persona a coach might suggest to you. Instead, learn about yourself and be all that you can be.
Coaching is not a one-size-fits-all solution; my approach is tailored to you and your goals. You may be “stuck” or in the midst of a challenging transition. You may seek help in attracting clients and developing a book of business. Perhaps you are about to retire and want to thrive in the transition, designing a rewarding “next chapter” for yourself. Your organization may want you to access the support of a skilled coach, in order to leverage the skills you’ve already developed and develop new skills. For example, a promotion in an organization often requires new skills. Whatever your situation, I will ride shotgun with you, spotting opportunities and avoiding ambush along the way.
In our coaching you will experience my deep-listening, compassion, imagination and truth-telling. I am your confidant, a deep resource, a wise-elder, and an occasional goad. I access the wisdom of my lived experience for your benefit. I also bring other resources to the conversation, including poetry. Humor is also a common element in our work. In that spontaneous moment, playfulness enters the scene. Levity is welcome. While clients work whole-heartedly, they also laugh often. Life is not intended to be an unrelenting slog.
Some clients choose to do body work and in so doing fully access my training as a Strozzi Institute Master Somatic Coach. Somatic body work is done fully clothed, in accordance with a well-established protocol designed to enable you to completely experience the energy, aliveness and wisdom of the body and to release areas of chronic contraction. Such bodywork enables you to better achieve the outcomes you’ve set. Unfortunately, many people (particularly “heady” professionals) ignore the body as a source of wisdom and guidance. Relying almost exclusively on logic and argument, such people short-change themselves, often making poor decisions and failing to live whole-heartedly.
“For me, coaching is a privilege. I am a trusted advisor, deep resource, and a witness on your journey.”
Here are some examples of questions we may explore:
- What are You Made for?
All of us live with rules. Many of the rules are given to us by parents or by the communities where we live. These rules are a virtual “owner’s manual.” Aware or unaware, the rules shape our lives.
Many of the rules are not examined until we are provoked by life events—a birth, an illness, a death, a marriage or divorce, a hiring or a firing. How have your rules supported and protected you? Perhaps it’s time to change-out the rules you’ve lived by. At one time these rules may have served you well. Now, they may no longer be needed. Worse yet, the old rules may restrict your ability to transition into what awaits you.
Those of us who have dogs—or simply observe dogs—know that some dogs just love to dig, others like to run almost at the speed of light, and there are dogs who love to retrieve. Dogs seem to know what they’re made for.
In the course of our work, I will encourage you to learn what you are made for. The challenge will be to live into that answer day by day, year by year, decade by decade. As you change, your answers will change. The answers will guide where you go and how you get there.
“Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
~Rainer Maria Rilke
- What Commitment are You Living?
We all live with multiple commitments. For you, it may be to serve your clients, meet your production goals, pay your taxes, walk the dog, feed the cat, water the plants. In the midst of many such commitments, what is a central commitment that will be the focus of our coaching work? Perhaps you want to build your practice, make partner, or learn how to become an effective partner. You may want to transition to another firm, be appointed to the bench, or join the faculty at a law school. Or possibly your focus may be more inward—to better connect with people, be calmer under pressure, or speak-up more often and with greater confidence. Whatever your commitment, it will be the focus of our work.
- What are You Practicing?
We are the sum of our practices. The objective is for you to know what you are practicing and to be intentional in your practices. You may not be aware of your habitual practices—perhaps a tendency to be submissive, reticent, evasive, hesitant or easily distracted. Someone committed to your success (a coach, for example) can help you to wake-up and become aware of practices that no longer serve you. As important, you need to consciously practice what you need to do to fulfill on your commitment. What practices will enable you to achieve the outcome you prize?
- As You Set Your Goals, What are Your Conditions of Success?
You need to know when your goal has been met. Otherwise, you will forever be in pursuit, like a greyhound chasing a mechanical rabbit on a racetrack. In such a pursuit, you are likely to become exhausted and disheartened. On the other hand, if you have an outcome that can be measured, you will know when the goal has been met. That will be a time to celebrate; perhaps a time to recalibrate and set another goal.
- What is Your Legacy?
We all leave a legacy. Yours is informed by who and what you love, where you’ve been and what you’ve done. Such a legacy benefits others. It serves as a model of a life well lived and inspires others to make their contribution. Often, a personal legacy is instrumental in the formation and longevity of an organization or institution. I’d be pleased to work with you to explore your legacy and decide how best to live your life and make your contribution.